Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
