**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
