Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
