Dual....:-)
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
