im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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