I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
