just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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