Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
