Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The struggles of a small town man whore
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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