so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
