I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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