I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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