I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
