Already got asked if we're dating
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You made out with two different species that night
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
my poor anus
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
