you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
