You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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