Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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