they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
