Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Congratulations! We have a period
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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