What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
