Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
