Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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