you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
