Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
