I met the friendliest cop last night
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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