well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
