1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
