If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
