I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
