How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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