We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
