Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
