right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
