Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
