Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
