we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
