I wish I could teleport
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
