I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just want to make out with him forever
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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