you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
