Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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