NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
