Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
