put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
that may or may not have been my penis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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