dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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