I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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