fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
