I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
