I wish I could teleport
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
