friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
