i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
