Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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