First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
