Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
