Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
