She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
