I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
